Here at The Chronicles of the Camo Crusader, we honor the remarkable grit and tenacity of military spouses from Nigeria. Today, I want to share my story of balancing career, family, and the special challenges that come with deployment. When my spouse was deployed to the Northeast, I juggled work, motherhood, being a mechanic, being a driver, and more. By sharing my experience, I want to be able to provide other Camo Crusaders with some useful advice and coping mechanisms to help them through this difficult but worthwhile trip.

The Surprising CEO: Managing the Home Like a Pro

I soon understood that I had to stand up and take on the roles we used to share when my husband was deployed. It was like I was suddenly the CEO of a small, thriving company—my home—from scheduling doctor’s appointments and school runs to repairing broken appliances and taking care of auto repairs.

Method 1: Develop Your Scheduling Skills

Making a thorough schedule was one of my initial actions. Every day I made a detailed strategy to make sure nothing got missed and to keep me organized. I combined my usage of a paper planner with digital calendars. I could view all of my work obligations, the kids’ activities, and housework in one convenient location. Don’t forget that color coding is your friend!

Method 2: Accept the Delegation Power

I discovered that it’s okay to assign my children chores. It reduced my workload and instilled in them a sense of accountability. When it came to helping with food preparation, my oldest took on the position of “kitchen assistant,” and my youngest, “laundry monitor.” Seeing their pride in their contributions to our home was quite inspiring.

Coping Mechanisms: Striking a Balance During the Chaos

Managing children, work, and domestic duties simultaneously is no easy task. Though it’s common to feel overwhelmed, learning coping mechanisms can help.

First Strategy: Set Aside “Me Time”

It is essential to make time for oneself. These alone times, whether it’s over a cup of tea in silence in the morning or a little stroll after supper, let you refuel. I deliberately set my alarm for half an hour before the kids to have some quiet time and organize my schedule. I promise you that those peaceful minutes can create a great vibe for the entire day.

Method 2: Rely on Your Network of Support

Never be afraid to seek assistance. Speak with loved ones, close friends, and other spouses of military personnel. Since we’re all in this together, asking for help is never a sign of weakness. With other military wives, I created a WhatsApp group, and we ended up being each other’s life support system.

This support system was crucial, whether we were just whining about our days or sharing babysitting responsibilities.

Strategy 3: Employ Stress-Reduction and Mindfulness Practices

Although stress is unavoidable, how you handle it matters greatly. I began doing deep breathing exercises and mindfulness. I used to take a few minutes to calm myself and breathe deeply whenever I felt stressed. It’s an easy yet effective method for maintaining attention and lowering stress.

Homefront Leadership: Techniques for Efficient Multitasking

A systematic approach to leadership at home and excellent multitasking are necessary while juggling various obligations.

Tip 1: Set priorities and make plans

Setting priorities for my work allowed me to concentrate on the things that mattered. I used to write down my top three tasks for the following day every night.

In this manner, even if the day became busy, I could be sure that the most crucial things got done.

Tip 2: Accept Market Buying

We don’t have grocery shopping applications as some other parts of the world do. Even if you just shop at the market once or twice a month, it’s still important. To prevent frequent runs, I methodically planned our travels and produced a list of everything we needed. These outings became mini-adventures when the kids were involved, and as a treat, we would sometimes treat ourselves to some street cuisine.

Tip 3: Continue Talking to Your Children

I needed to communicate with my children at all times. I gave my explanation for Daddy’s absence and the need for teamwork for all of us.

Controlling Your Emotions: How Not to Angry the Kids

Because deployments require a lot of emotional energy, it’s simple for annoyances to boil over. It’s crucial to find constructive ways to let these feelings out, though.

Method 1: Identify and Welcome Your Emotions

Feeling depressed, angry, or frustrated is acceptable. Instead of holding these emotions inside, acknowledge them. I wrote all of my thoughts down in a journal that I kept. I found that writing about my feelings allowed me to constructively process them and was helpful.

Technique 2: Locate Stress-Relieving Activities

For me, exercise was essential. Physical activity, whether it was a fast training video or a block run, allowed me to let go of pent-up tension.

We used to host dance parties in the living room occasionally, which was a lot of fun for the kids and a wonderful way to cheer ourselves up.

Method 3: Give Emphasis to Positive Reinforcement

I tried to draw attention to the advantages rather than the difficulties. Recognizing little successes, such as the children turning in their schoolwork on time, assisted in changing our attention from the problems to the positive aspects of the situation.

Honoring the Victories, Large and Small

It is imperative to acknowledge and appreciate each victory, regardless of size, while chaos reigns. These accomplishments, whether it’s finishing a job presentation flawlessly or getting the kids to bed on time, should be acknowledged.

Celebration 1: Family Fun Nights

We established a weekly family fun night. It was our time to unwind and enjoy each other’s company. Movie marathons, board games, or even simple storytelling sessions brought us closer and provided much-needed relaxation.

Celebration 2: Personal Rewards I treated myself to small rewards for accomplishing tough tasks. A bubble bath, a new book, or even an indulgent dessert was my way of acknowledging my hard work. It’s important to be kind to yourself and recognize your efforts.

The Homecoming: An Emotional Rollercoaster

There is a rush of emotions on homecoming day once deployment is over. Excitement, relief, and perhaps a little awkwardness are there. Returning to a “normal” life requires patience and time.
My spouse came back, and it seemed unreal. Though there was a time of transition as we grew accustomed to working as a team once more, we were thrilled. The keys were communication and patience. We approached the situation day by day, and eventually, we established a routine.

Last Words: The Camo Crusader’s Heart

In Nigeria, having a spouse in the military is no easy task. It calls for fortitude, resiliency, and a good sense of humor.

We, the Camo Crusaders, juggle family, work, and the unique challenges of deployment with grace and grit. We are the unsung heroes, the backbone of our families, and the heart of our military community. So, to all the Camo Crusaders out there – keep laughing, keep leading, and know that you are never alone. Your strength and resilience inspire us all, and together, we can conquer anything.